Take a soul like Oby Ezekwesili who according to her Twitter handle believes in ‘serving before leading’ and was taught by the principal pillars of her life ‘never to dignify nonsense’ . She had appeared to be hailing in the hey days of the Bring Back Our Girls campaign and shortly after its gradual loss of stream. However, since her tirade about how archaic some economic theories are, she appears to now bestride the threshold like J. P. Clark’s abiku. ‘
Isidore Emeka Uzoatu.
As the tenure of Muhammadu Buhari slowly grinds on, one notable trend that has characterised it remains the existence of so many dichotomies in our body politic. Before you mind veers to the ample negative aspects of this, let me quickly call you back. Fellow countrymen of mine, verily I say unto you, this piece is concerned with its only positive index. Namely: the division of us into hailers and wailers on account of our stands about his style and mode of government.
Rest assured now that I never meant to go into the North/South, Christian/Muslim and herdsmen/farmer region, you can now jolly well tag along sans trepidation. Yes, as anything to the contrary could even have spelt trouble. Of course, in our routine street-speak this translates to wahala. Now let it remain known to you that despite the visible coincidence, the word in question has nothing to do with hailing and wailing Nigeriana. You know, like one offhandedly thinking because ec= mc squared also means that wahala was coined from wailing and hailing in Los Angeles.
Anyway, suffice it by noting that this wailer/hailer divide appears the most interesting thing there is to this presidency that we are writing about. Like it goes, while the former would see nothing good in whatever the president and his men makes happen, the latter would take the reverse gear and see it as sent from heaven by the infallible ghosts that there inhabit through the divine intersession of our amiable president. For instance, it is a recurring refrain in the song of the wailers that this democracy of ours would be better off with a president having no military content in his bio. Conversely, the hailers would sing themselves hoarse that only somebody with the glorious credential can be comfortable on the keg of gunpowder our presidential seat is.
In the same vein, while the latter sees nothing wrong with a former beneficiary from a military coup ruling the country, the former are adamant that it forever remains a misnomer on one account than one. They quickly add that it was not permissible even where the beneficiary gained from a gunpoint takeover of another military administration. By this implying that such a benefit concocted from a takeover of a democratically elected government, amounted to double treason – if such an offence were possible. And who else but the incumbent has been the sole beneficiary from such a transition?
What has made it most interesting, though, is the fact that as much as the tears of the wailers have rained, it has done nothing to shake the hailers from their impervious stand. Considering the allegation that the president was marginalising the country through his appointments, they have maintained that the president has not made even one unconstitutional appointment(s) since his enthronement. To buttress this, they even swear that it has nothing to do with his argument in London about the ninety-seven percent that voted for him and the five that did otherwise.
Some of them are even ready to pledge their own school certificates in place of the president’s. According to them, the insignificant piece of paper was destroyed during the civil war. You can better imagine how iniquitous it would be to punish a guy for an act of God that happened while he was busy repelling rebels intent on dividing the country. There are even pockets of them who can swear that it is from the bevy of those who are afflicted with the intent that are behind the current attack.
This, contrary to the fact that so many otherwise self-assured wailers had turned coat as soon as abiding indices began to change. Like the many that promptly switched allegiance from whatever underperforming political parties they had been in hitherto to the president’s party for the avoidance of doubt as soon as the war on corruption was intensified. Standard practice by them as hailing was often unnoticed executed from outdoors. Accordingly, it is there view that though they cannot easily break into the bedroom just yet, they might as well tarry in the corridor. And trust you me, so many of the early birds have made it to the foyer, looking in as it were.
However, an interesting aspect has appeared to rear a head on account of the hunger in the land. Some hailers now appear to have shifted to a position that can best be described as balancing on the fence between the two factions. Take a soul like Oby Ezekwesili who according to her Twitter handle believes in ‘serving before leading’ and was taught by the principal pillars of her life ‘never to dignify nonsense’ . She had appeared to be hailing in the hey days of the Bring Back Our Girls campaign and shortly after its gradual loss of stream. However, since her tirade about how archaic some economic theories are, she appears to now bestride the threshold like J. P. Clark’s abiku. ‘What did not work in 1984’ she had said in the well-circulated tirade, ‘cannot possibly be a solution in a global economy that’s much more integrated.’
But indeed the straw that is posing more harm to the camel’s back is apparent joining of the elongating queue by none other than Father Ejike Mbaka. And we do know that he only says as the spirit commands and nothing else. Not unlike when he prophesied that GEJ’s pigeon would not out-fly PMB’s at the last presidential elections. According to news from his crystal ball, the people are bound not to vote for another incumbent come the next general elections if the number of dead bodies are not drastically reduced via the same government action or inaction the spirit claims caused them in the first place.
So if thus spake Father Mbaka we cannot but call for a voice vote. Those for the hailers say aye! Those for the wailers say nay! The hailers have it; at least, for now. Court!
- Isidore Emeka Uzoatu is the author of the novel Vision Impossible.